“Because It’s My Birthday, Dammit!”

Some but not all of you knew it was my birthday on Friday, and now you all know, so welcome to my “See Jack Shoot Self-Indulgent Blog Post Of The Year.” You may or may not know that I’m not only doing story design, but the website, script supervision, miscellaneous production work, location scouting, various sorts of research, verbal abuse absorption, and a few other tasks behind the scenes. In front of the camera, I play Simon Simmons, the janitor at a local high school where Christy and various other malcontents, er, students goof off instead of taking their classes seriously. For this amazing role, I was given an oversized jumpsuit built for Lurch from the old Addams Family… if Lurch was a zeppelin.

Michael Marcus as Simon Simmons

Does this make me look fat?

YES, yes it does.

I looked like a grey oompa-loompa(tm) with a thyroid problem. It didn’t help that the suit trapped heat, as well, and thus caused me to sweat tremendously. By the end of the typical shoot, I was acting in coveralls that felt like they were filled with gravy. Sexy, Oscar-award-worthy gravy, but gravy nonetheless.

Nevertheless, there is work to be done and fun to be had, and so in the spirit of laughing at myself on my birthday, I open up a contest: PHOTOSHOP THAT PICTURE! That’s right. Take me and my mop and put me where you want me, fill the school halls with custard, or litter the floors with banana peels, so it looks like I’m going to fall. Put someone behind me chasing afterward. Change my jumpsuit for a better outfit. It’s all up to you. The funniest entry wins a copy of our game, LEA$E FOR LIFE, as featured in our series. That’s a $40 value for those of you who care about such things. Send entries to secret@idea-men.us and watch this space for developments.

You’ve got a week. Let’s see what you’ve got.

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